The Me I Used to Be (FAT PICS INCLUDED)

I didn't discover blogging until my fitness journey was well under way.  I realized a couple of days ago that none of you know where I'm really coming from, what I've been thru or what my story is.  So I've decided to share some personal history to enlighten you.  I won't bore those of who have read my transformation bio with the same story.  If you haven't read it, click on the link and check it out.  You might find a sense of comforting familiarity there.


I am a fully recovered carbohydrate addict.  I am genetically predisposed to addiction (my dad is an alcoholic) and I chose carbs as my crutch.  Suffice it to say, I would eat multiple bags of candy per day and could easily eat an entire loaf of freshly baked french bread.  Here are the results of that behavior:

This is me in July of 2010!  Nope, I wasn't pregnant!

By the time this pic was taken my youngest was already 14 months old.

I want everyone who is struggling with getting healthy to know that I HAVE BEEN THERE!  I understand the depression and difficulties that come with being overweight.  I understand wanting to break every mirror in your house so you don't have to look at the person in the reflection one more time.  I understand the self loathing that comes from letting yourself get like that.  I know what it feels like to get "the look" from your doctor.  I was there, I know.

Christmas 2010.  I look mad.
Someone had probably eaten my chocolate.

Christmas 2010.  Obviously, not my best angle.

It was actually these Christmas pictures that brought to my attention just how big I had gotten.  (I didn't find the picture from the family reunion until the other day.)  It still took another two months for me to commit to making a change.  I had to straighten out my brain before I could fix my body.  In March of 2011, I discovered a book called Potatoes not Prozac by Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.  This book started the pendulum swinging and it hasn't stopped since.  I applied what I learned from this book and recovered from my carbohydrate addiction.  Then I began to work on my body.  By May 2011, I had dropped my first 20 lbs and by July 2011, I had made goal weight.  Total, I lost approximately 40 lbs to hit my goal.  I wish I had pictures of me while I was dropping the weight to post but we didn't take that many and the ones we did take are of me in my undies.  Not gonna happen!  ;)  You can thank me later.  LOL!  

It wasn't all flowers and sunshine when I made goal weight, either.  I was floppy and baggy and skinny and icky all over!  Not at all how I wanted to look.  I began searching for my next goal.  BUT--- this is sooooo important --- I didn't stop doing what I had been doing while I tried to decide what I wanted to do next!  I kept going thru the plateau.  I didn't let the fact that I didn't look how I wanted to stop me and I didn't quit because I didn't know what to do next.  I just kept doing what I knew to do.  By this time, I had found Chelle's blog (I thank God often for Chelle) and soon after that she announced her Case Study for Recipe For Fitness.  I knew that this was my answer, that participating could  push me into the next level of fitness.  I applied and I waited and I waited and I waited to hear whether I had been accepted.  BUT --- while I waited I kept going!  I kept doing what I knew how to do.  Then FINALLY ;)  they made the announcement and guess what!  I wasn't selected.  So what did I do?  I kept going, kept doing what I knew how to do.  I read some more Oxygen and some more Fitness Rx and Muscle and Fitness Hers.  I learned more and decided on a routine to follow and I got started.  You have to move past the obstacles, people.  When you want something bad enough, that is what you do.  You just keep going, NO MATTER WHAT!  Just three days after I made the commitment to begin my own program, Tabitha and Chelle  (read their blog posts about the whole thing here) contacted me to let me know that due to unforeseen circumstances of one of the participants, they'd had to drop out and... wait for it... I WAS NEXT IN THE LINE UP!  I WAS IN!  I WAS SELECTED TO PARTICIPATE!  I do not care that I wasn't one of the original eight and I do not care that I got in by default!  I'm here now and I am giving this program everything I have day in and day out!  I will not bow, I will not break, I will shut the world away... (Breaking Benjamin song)!  

This is me three weeks ago.
New pic goes on the RFF website next week.

 I hope this give you a little insight into where I've come from.  I invite you to join me as I train for my first Figure Competition!  My goal is to do two shows this year, one in July and one in October.  My plan is to participate in the July show to learn and gain experience.  My plan for the October show is to WIN!!  Stay tuned.    

Happy Friday, dear reader!